Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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