Already got asked if we're dating
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
