do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
