Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
