think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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