He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
