Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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