I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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