Betty ford says i'm here all night
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
wow bdsm is so cute
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