Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
