I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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