worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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