She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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