Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
