An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
