i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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