yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
