the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it glows. i had to have it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
