can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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