On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
