Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
