Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
