i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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