those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
