pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
