hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
