i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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