if you like me you must not know who I am
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
