Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
