im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
