Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
