Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
