Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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