I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
