It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
