Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
