Porn is love you can see.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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