Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
