didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
