Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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