i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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