Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
