Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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