He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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