Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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