summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
