note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
