I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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