I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
