Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
